We tend to give based on what we receive. If someone is loving and generous with us, we give them the same. But when someone is stingy with us we tend to hold back. There are exceptions, but for the most part, it plays out their way in our various relationships.

Husband’s and wives sometimes become stingy without intending to do so, or without noticing they are doing it. Wives with young children are especially susceptible to this. She gives to the kids all day and it’s exhausting. She figures her husband will understand and she starts to short change him. He reacts in kind and she sees his lack of giving far more clearly than she sees her own. Or she justifies her own but judges his. Even worse, not giving can become a habit that continues after the kids are no longer such a drain.

If your husband has seemed less loving, giving, or generous, ask yourself if he might be reacting to you being less of those with him. Yes, it could be that he became less giving first and you’re reacting to that. But don’t assume that as an easy out. Examined yourself and deal with you if it’s you.

If you’re sure it’s not you, then I suggest you talk with hubby. Rather than accusing him, say something like “We seem to be less loving and generous with each other these days. Any thoughts on why or how to change it?”

~ Paul – I’m XY, and giving when you’re not receiving is hard.

A post worth reading:

Dr. Corey Carlisle | Benefit of the doubt ◄ Sometimes difficult, but ultimately necessary.

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