On a number of occasions, I have seen a husband or wife putting up with something their spouse is doing and wondered why they tolerate it. And then I learn that the spouse is tolerating something that is equally bad or wrong.

This could be something illegal like he tolerates her shoplifting because she tolerates his drug use, but usually, it’s not that extreme. She puts up with excessive gaming because he puts up with her excessive use of social media. Perhaps he tries to ignore her screaming and calling him names because she mostly ignores his often staying out till midnight. And of course, it shows up in the bedroom; he makes only minimal complaints about her refusing sex 95% of the time because she only occasionally makes a comment about his porn use.

It’s an unspoken deal; I will tolerate your sin if you tolerate mine. You can complain a bit, but only a bit, and I will do the same. And they make this unholy covenant because neither of them is willing to give up their sin.

If you’re in such an arrangement, the only solution is to violate it. Unilaterally stop doing whatever you have been getting by with. Odds are that won’t change his actions, but it does put him on notice. When you have a several month track recorder of not doing your part, then it’s time to talk to him about his part.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and violating an immoral agreement isn’t wrong.

A post worth reading:

The Generous Wife | Be Silly, Have Fun ◄ Enjoy life together.

Image Credit: © LIGHTFIELD STUDIOS | stock.adobe.com
Shop Amazon ♦ Shop to give links page
We’re donation supported Thanks for your help!
This post may contain affiliate links, see my disclosure for info.